Divas and Dictators

Written for East End MOPS November newsletter.

Sometimes (or more often than sometimes) my children are very, very naughty.

And sometimes (or more often than sometimes) I find myself very, very irritated with their naughtiness.

It grieves me to tell you this, New Mommy, but it will happen to you.

Though you are now overcome with adoration for that sweet smelling, milk drooling, cooing, swaddled little bundle of newborn, she will not always be so charming.

One day she will devise methods of annoyance guaranteed to push every one of your buttons...again and again.

You may think it won’t happen to you. Not your precious darling!

We all think this of our sweet babies at one time or another, especially those firstborns.

But know that even the sweetest babies have a terrible habit of becoming stubborn and volatile toddler divas and dictators, despite intensive efforts to mold them into polite and decorous little ladies and gentlemen.

I myself have a couple of divas. They are not wild, uncontrollable urchins and they are not placid, perfect dolls. But they are typical toddlers.

I once stared blissfully into the starry depths of their newborn eyes, thinking sweet, naive thoughts regarding the excellence of my offspring. Clearly I could never ever be angry with this angelic being, I thought.

I admit (shamefully) that I did indeed observe older children and smugly contemplate what their parents may have done wrong to illicit such obnoxiousness.

Now I know better. I have known better since my first child threw her first tantrum right before my astonished eyes.

The first time you observe your precious darling’s self-centered approach to problem solving, you will be very disappointed. You may even be shocked. A piece of you will be heartbroken to discover that she really is capable of such selfishness. But you will also be surprised by just how quickly you reconcile yourself to the fact that she is, in fact, all too human and prone to err, as humans are.

I know…

You secretly thought that perhaps she would be the exception.

You were wrong.

But it’s okay. We all were.