Trick or Treat of Motherhood

Written for October's East End MOPS Newsletter.


Crisp, cool autumn weather during Halloween. TREAT!

Hot, humid, icky weather during Halloween. TRICK!

Being the sort of crafty mother who lovingly makes her children’s Halloween costumes. TREAT!

Staying up till all hours of the night to piece together homemade Halloween costume which will be worn a couple of hours, probably torn, and definitely stained. TRICK!

Buying the costume for a modest price and absolutely no sleep deprivation. TREAT!

Using Halloween costume purchasing as excuse to go to Target. TREAT!

Hay rides, pumpkin patches, and candy apples. TREAT!

Nightmares, haunted houses, and scary movies. TRICK!

Watching your child’s pre-candy binge elation as you go door to door. TREAT!

Residual guilt over allowing your child to actually eat all the candy acquired going door to door. TRICK!

Eating the candy yourself. TREAT!

Post-candy binge stomach aches and/or sugar highs at 2am. TRICK!

Opening your door to adorably costumed little superheroes, princesses, and pirates. TREAT!

Opening your door to surly teenagers wearing t-shirts and holding out plastic grocery bags. TRICK!

Fear that refusing candy to greedy teenagers will result in toilet papered yard. TRICK!

Enduring your child’s terror of the monsters, ghosts, and gore of Halloween. TRICK!

Celebrating your child’s excitement over the costumes, candy, and magic of Halloween. TREAT!

Toddler Friendly Toons

We watch a lot of them.

I pick my battles and have decided the cartoon issue is not one of them.

I had every intention to be one of those no TV moms. I totally understand why a parent would make that decision.

Greg and I don’t watch a whole lot of TV ourselves. We don’t even have cable.

(But we do have Netflix, Halleluiah!)

We started out pretty solidly against television time. Rylie only watched Baby Einstein if I absolutely had to do a particularly tedious household task or if I needed to hop in the shower and it wasn’t nap time.

I might even venture to say we would still be pretty minimalist when it comes to TV, except that I got pregnant with our second child a little earlier than planned. During pregnancy I was always really, really tired and often sick.

What can I say? TV helped.

A lot.

Somewhere near the end of that pregnancy, I realized I had lost the no TV battle. By this time, Rylie was in the throes of a passionate (but sweet) love affair with Elmo.

And much to my surprise, so was I.

So now we watch a lot of cartoons and preschool entertainment.

Do I feel guilty about this?

Yes, I do.

Do I sometimes turn off the TV and send us all outside to play?

Not often enough, but as much as I can during agreeable weather.

I have found that Rylie’s love for books has not been compromised . And neither has her imagination. If anything, it seems to have been fueled by her cartoon counterparts. So that eases the guilt.

Somewhat.

I do have standards. We don’t watch much TV on weekends. And we only ever watch cartoons intended for small children. So no Spongebob, and certainly not Bratz. Anything remotely violent, even animated Spider Man, is not allowed.

At least not when Mommy is home.

As I mentioned, we don’t have cable but I do occasionally buy a DVD of Nick toons or something similar. And we have now discovered the joy of Netflix, which is all too convenient when streamed instantly through Wii. So our list of acceptable kid tv is on the rise.

And of course there is Disney, which I have never outgrown and never intend to.

But as far as daily television goes, we mostly stick to good ol’ PBS Kids.

I compiled a list of our favorites.

I so love lists.

Sesame Street I will go ahead and put it at the top. I adore it. I really do. I love the guest stars (Tina Fey and Adam Sandler). I love the characters (Cookie Monster is still my favorite but Mr. Noodle holds a special place in my heart). I love the humor, most of which sails right over kids’ heads. I love that they spoof current TV shows and movies (30 Rocks and Preschool Musical come to mind). And I love the educational value, of which I believe Rylie has benefited.

Oh yeah, and my kids really do love Elmo. Who doesn’t?

Caillou I used to hate Caillou. It is just so…Canadian. But I now have very maternal feelings for little Caillou. The writing actually seems pretty realistic and is incredibly easy for a toddler to grasp. Caillou’s life is like a lot of four year olds. His Mom stays home. He has a little sister. He is close to his grandparents. He goes to preschool. And he has a LOT of fears, many of which Rylie shares. His life so closely mirrors hers and she has learned a lot of positive lessons from him.

Still, I wonder about that gravelly voiced narrator. Is it or is it not Diane Reams of NPR? I ponder this question each and every afternoon.

Angelina Ballerina Rylie is enthralled with this precocious little dancing mouse who happens to harbor enormous diva-like tendencies. I worry that Rylie relates to Angelina a little too well.

The show is now computer animated but I prefer the older, hand drawn version, which is very quaint and English, which I love. Luckily, we still catch it via Netflix.

Thomas the Train This show terrorized Rylie for the longest time. Those things are pretty creepy looking. Big moon faces plastered to trains. She loves it now. We do not watch it often but I think I sing that song ten times a day.

Super Why and Word World Rylie likes them and I like that they are so super infused with early literacy skills. It’s a win win.

Martha Speaks Not Rylie’s favorite, but I like to watch it. The premise is very amusing (to me, at least). Martha is a dog who is mistakenly given a can of Alphabet Soup for breakfast one morning. As the song goes, “On the way to Martha’s stomach, the letters lost their way. They traveled to her brain. Now she’s got a lot to say!”

Barney is sometimes tolerated. I figure it could be worse.

I hate Dinosaur Train. I just have to say that. Luckily for me, so does Rylie. We don’t watch it.

But Greg does.

He loves it.

Confession: I sometimes catch myself watching these shows when the kids aren’t home. Why do I do this when I could be watching Oprah?

Sick

Little did we know...

Hours before the vomit fest began.

I recently found myself housebound with two sick babies. It was a week I hope never to repeat, though I know that is highly improbable.

If you don't mind, I will now whine and moan and share self pitying thoughts over this experience.

In a family of four, a stomach virus is an event. When that family consists of two adults and two very small children (ages 1 and 2), and you all have the grave misfortune of falling ill at the same time, it is a catastrophe.

I have been a mother for just under three years now. I have learned to dread illness with vigor previously unknown.

For mommies do not have the luxury of sick time.

Gone are the days of lounging on the couch in a Sudafed induced stupor, napping and watching daytime TV.

This “event” demands a complete cancellation of previously scheduled activities, time off work, and a general postponement of daily life to attend the comfort and well being of sick children. It requires gallons of Pedialyte, loads upon loads of laundry, much disinfectant, and midnight trips to Walmart for Tylenol and popsicles.

It is exhausting and stressful. It requires a whole lot of self sacrifice, and compassion and patience. Sick toddlers are not easy to appease.

During this awful time of stomach distress, I found myself passionately wishing for live-in nannies, housekeepers and nurses. For those babies were quite persistent in both their demands and their bodily emissions. I could not keep up.

Though suffering frequent and intense intestinal upset, my girls were just well enough to resent their confinement. They were bored, restless and very tired of being sick. In other words, they were primed and ready to inflict misery upon their mother, who was desperately trying to keep them comfortable, clean, entertained and, most importantly, hydrated.

One minute they were vying for cuddle time in my lap, the next minute I was rushing one or both of them to the bathroom. This was followed by a general sanitization of all soiled persons and areas. After we were sufficiently cleaned, the girls would make feeble attempt at play or whine for popsicles and then repeat it all over again. There was a lot of crying for any reason (theirs and mine) and a lot of tantrum throwing for no reason at all (mostly theirs).

I was up several consecutive nights monitoring fevers and changing diapers and washing sheets and generally managing their illness while suffering from it myself.

I largely ignored my own fever and illness until I burned out. I had nothing left to give. The proverbial cup was completely empty.

But there they were. Cheeks flushed with fever, eyes glistening with tears, two sick and cranky little girls needing their mother.

Sometimes it is hard to be the one they call “Mommy,” especially when Mommy just wants to go to bed.

Instead, Mommy says a prayer, takes a deep breath, and simply endures.

I soon find myself soothing the tantrums and wiping the tears and cleaning the messes.

And an amazing thing happened.

I found that my cup was not quite as empty as I thought. I found that I somehow have just enough.

It seems like these sick days will never end but in a matter of days I feel the immeasurable relief of restored health. In a matter of weeks I will think of it with a grimace. In a matter of months it will be nothing more than a bad memory.

And in a year I get to repeat it all over again.

Hopefully it will not be quite as severe next year (I suspect Rotavirus was the culprit in this instance). And they will be a year older, which might make it easier. Most of all, I hope that we can at least get it one at a time rather than all at once.

I believe my rant has now run its course. If not, I'm sure I will be back soon ;)

Wishing you all a healthy and happy October.