Pop Quiz!

Written for East End MOPS December newsletter.

True or False:

1. I love folding laundry.
2. Today my children played outside. With dirty, snot crusted faces. In their pajamas. At four o’ clock in the afternoon.
3. I have a rotten pumpkin on my front door step.
4. I can keep fall mums healthy and vibrant well past their first week living on my porch.
5. This holiday season, my children will be models of kindness, generosity, and gratitude.
6. This holiday season, I myself will be the very definition of kindness, generosity, and gratitude. (See number nine.)
7. My house does NOT look like a toy bomb exploded in my living room.
8. Dum Dums are my secret to well behaved children during grocery shopping sprees.
   
9. Chocolate is my secret to well behaved mothering during stressful holiday madness.
10. While enjoying leisurely soaks in the tub with a magazine, I pretend that I do not hear the crying, fit throwing, and general chaos of my toddlers and their increasingly frustrated daddy.
    

Answers:

1. Absolutely, positively FALSE.
2. Sadly, all too TRUE. TRUE. TRUE. And TRUE.
   
3. I sincerely hope that by the time you read this, it will be FALSE.
4. FALSE.
5. Sigh. This will probably be FALSE, but not for lack of trying.
6. I will endeavor to make this as TRUE as I can (with or without number 9).
7. FALSE. My house is currently a war zone of toys and unfolded laundry.
8. TRUE, though good behavior is NOT guaranteed.
9. Unfortunately, I find this to be mostly FALSE (but it does not prevent me from indulging frequently and with gusto).
10. True...Guiltily.